Multiple Choice Test
Thank you for taking the first of one Multiple Choice Test. You will be asked a series of questions followed by four possible answers. On your answer sheet, please fill in the bubble that corresponds with the answer that you believe will piss someone off.
DO NOT USE A NO. 2 PENCIL.
You may use a No. 1 pencil, a No. 24 pencil, a highlighter, blood, or you may chew a hole in your answer sheet. Upon completion of the test, your answer sheets will be feed into a paper shredder.
If you need an answer sheet, please send requests to oreilly@foxnews.com
1)
Please look at the following picture.
Why
is this asshole smiling?
A)
Another steaming, hot movie just slid out of his ass.
B)
He’s
thinking about all of the women he has used for sex.
C) He
is pleased that no one knows who he had to blow for his Oscar.
D) The
California Raisins are dancing in his underwear.
2) Examine
this lady carefully.
How can I express my love for this person?
A) Eat
the ass hair out of her shit.
B)
Bring her the head of Billy Bob Thorton.
C)
Tattoo “I’m white trash too!” on my forehead.
D)
Stick a salmon in my pants.
3) Please
study the following photograph
What is this person thinking?
A) “I
smell bacon!”
B)
“I sure am craving some chocolate-covered dykes.”
C)
“I’m just not bull
enough.”
D)
“I wish I could grow a set
of balls under my tongue.”
4) Consider the following item.
This man just told a joke. What will be his next response?
A) He
will grab his tie and say “Ohhhhhh boy”
B)
He will say “WHAAAAAAA?”
C)
He will do a poor imitation of Bush, saying “He he he he!”
D)
One of the other 5 predictable responses he uses.
5) Scrutinize the following image
What is this man’s greatest wish?
A) A
cure for the genital warts that Madonna gave him.
B)
For more American flags to wipe his ass with.
C)
That his alcohol buzz will never diminish.
D)
That he could diddle his dookie.
6) Look at this silly picture.
What
was the worst advice this man has given someone?
A) “Women
love housework.”
B)
“Your penis is expendable. Like
an appendix.”
C)
“That will not leave splinters in your anus.”
D)
“Surgically altering your face to look like mine will help you get
laid. ”
7) Glare at the following photograph
Why
is this woman so ugly?
A) She
had an ugly stick shoved up her ass.
B)
Her sister got all of the looks, talent, personality, brains and white
teeth.
C)
Bestiality.
D)
Euthanasia is not always successful.
8)
Try to look at this joke
What do these twins
exemplify?
A) Anyone
can succeed without really doing anything.
B)
Abortion is not always a bad thing.
C)
Why cloning should be punishable by death.
D)
Not all women have breasts.
Why
does this man look so serious?
A) Sobriety
test.
B)
Someone informed him that there are women that he has not slept with.
C)
He had a 45 second shart.
D)
He is upset that Tom Cruise is a bigger asshole than he is.
10)
Examine the following image
What
positive outcome resulted from this man’s death?
A) Drug
use in America instantly decreased by 20%.
B)
One less douche bag in Hollywood.
C)
Compost.
D)
No chance of “Brokeback Mountain 2: Pound Harder.”
11)
Take a gander at this
What
will be the title of this man’s next movie?
A) “Song
of the South”
B)
“50 Black People and a Shitty Script”
C)
“Now Showing at a Theater Near the Projects”
D)
“On the Verge of Irrelevancy”
12) What cha’ think of this?
When will this man become “Man of the Year?”
A)
When Hades' Snowboard Emporium goes public .
B) When
Larry the Cable Guy is given an honorary Doctorate from Yale.
C) When
Cop Rock returns for a second run.
D) When
all other men die.
13)
Study this portrait
What
will be this man’s next invention?
A)
The Ronco Hamster Rotisserie
B)
The Ronco Wallet Dehydrator
C)
The Ronco Shipping and Handling Charge
D)
The Ronco Spray-On Genitals
14) Check this shit out
Why
is this woman so excited?
A) She
discovered a number after one.
B)
She now knows the secret lesbian handshake.
C)
She has accurately predicted the number of years before her first drug
binge.
D)
She is demonstrating how Moe would poke Curley’s eyes.
15)
Look at this representation.
What
is this woman smiling about?
A) Her
penis is finally larger than Bill’s.
B)
Satan called and said she got the job.
C)
One too many forced smiles has caused her face to stick in this position.
D)
She is the newest cast member of Jackass.
16)
Partake of this image.
What
benchmark can be used to measure this man’s talent?
A)
A mosquito’s dick hair
B)
The distance between the electron and proton
C)
The age of R. Kelly’s girlfriend
D)
Any amount that is lower than nothing
17)
Look at this abomination
What
is this woman’s greatest accomplishment?
A)
Improving the self esteem of toothless, crack-whores
B)
Becoming the spokeswoman for penetration
C)
Discovering that the anus has two functions
D)
Breathing
18)
Feast your eyes on this moron
What
happened to this man’s penis?
A)
He never had one
B)
He burned it off with a magnifying glass
C)
He gave to Elton John as a wedding gift
D)
It shrinks every time he tells a lie
19)
Look at this boob
What
role will this man play in his next movie?
A)
A retarded aids patient who is stranded on an island during World War II
B)
Another boring good-guy
C)
Jeffrey Dahmer
D)
The lead role in a movie that I won’t see
20)
Try to understand the meaning of this image
How
old is this woman?
A)
Older than brontosaurus shit
B)
Rigor mortis began in 1993
C)
Precambrian
D)
Breast milk has turned to Ensure
21)
Look at this person
What undeniable fact can we ascertain from looking at this person?
A) The Joker fucked her mother
B) The exorcism didn't work
C) Her face is a weapon of mass disgusting
D) Her maxi-pad has wings
22) Examine this cretin
How gay is this man?
A) Assholes assume the pucker-up defense position
B) His nickname in high school was The Village Person
C) Carson Kressley says he is a little too gay for him
D) He's got sack on his breath
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Please leave your complaints here
Name: Noname
E-mail:
Date posted: February 21, 2010 - 03:16 pm
Message:
Keep going!
Name: meh luv kats
E-mail:
Date posted: January 09, 2010 - 01:17 pm
Message:
i couldent answer the tom hanks one either
Name: Hi
E-mail:
Date posted: November 01, 2009 - 02:45 pm
Message:
I couldn't answer the Tom Hanks one and the Snoop Dogg one because Forrest Gump is beast and I love the reality show.
Name: Chodelicker
E-mail:
Date posted: October 01, 2009 - 12:04 am
Message:
This is hilarious!! but julia stiles shouldn't be on this list!!
Name: Carrie
E-mail:
Date posted: September 24, 2009 - 08:54 pm
Message:
I like to see you do one on Tyler Parry how many idiotic movies has he made dressed up as a woman let alone how many tv series does he have.
Name: Richard Korte
E-mail:
Date posted: September 24, 2009 - 08:36 pm
Message:
that was AWESOME!! lol
Name: Idiot Savant
E-mail:
Date posted: January 21, 2009 - 10:53 pm
Message:
What the fuck is wrong with you?????
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