We are all told by the media that our self worth is contingent on our weight.
For example, magazines promote the notion that thin equals beauty
Obviously, these magazines are...
Absolutely Correct!
If you are overweight, then you are worthless.
But don't worry! We have the answer to your problem.
Nutrisystem can help you lose weight
However, if you tried Nutrisystem and you are still having trouble losing weight
Then you need...
The most effective weight loss program EVER!
Nutrisystem Extreme provides you with meals that are guaranteed to help you eat less and lose weight
Here are some of the delicious menu items you can choose from
Shipping Peanut Lasagna
This delicious dish has the same calorie count as a Styrofoam cooler. Actually, it tastes like one also.
Italian Scab Tortellini
Tender tortellinis served with fresh scabs, hand-picked from the legs, arms, and genitals of choice, grade-A wops.
Oprah Winfrey's Salisbury Surprise
A juicy Salisbury steak, smothered with beef gravy and sprinkled with little wads of toilet paper plucked from Oprah Winfrey's ass hair. An excellent appetite suppressant!
Macaroni and Panty Cheese
Nothing limits caloric intake more than this lovely dish.
Medical Waste Casserole
Not only will this entrée help with lower portion sizes, but the exhaustive diarrhea will help you lose weight fast.
In addition to wonderful meals, Nutrisystem Extreme provides you with all of the tools you need to lose weight fast
The Nutrisystem Extreme Shopping Cart
The less food that fits in your cart, the less dimples that will fit on your ass.
The Nutrisystem Extreme talking bathroom scale
The Nutrisystem Extreme Body Orifice Caulking Gun
Lose weight fast by sealing up all of your holes
Just look at some of these Nutrisystem Extreme success stories
This chart is absolute proof that Nutrisystem Extreme works*
*results may vary
Look at these incredible results. Call Nutrisystem Extreme today!*
*Results may be non-existent
These photos are not doctored. They are proof that this shit works.*
*Results may be complete opposite
If you want these same results, call Nutrisystem Extreme now*
*results may suck really bad
Call Nutrisystem now, you pathetic fat-ass*
*Results never really existed
And if you call within the next ten minutes, we will send you a set of celebrity excrement trading cards for free
OK, barrel-ass, get off of the couch and call NOW!
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Name: Sarahish
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Date posted: February 12, 2010 - 08:02 pm
Message: This was so crap, I have no idea why I laughed..
Name: Fred LickMeUpTheAss
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Date posted: February 08, 2010 - 09:36 pm
Message: You are a sorry, low-life piece of shit.
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