Insurance Companies Are Evil
Let's examine exactly where insurance companies fall on the international scale of evil.
The International Scale of Evil
Insurance companies score a 9.25 on the International Evil Scale, which is somewhere in between Charles Manson and the Oxiclean guy.
That's pretty damn evil!
So what exactly makes insurance companies so evil?
Is it the fact that they take our money and give us nothing in return?
No.
Is it the fact that when we do need their services, they go out of their
way to find a reason not to pay us?
No.
Is it the fact that if they do pay us, that usually means that they will
cancel our policy, or increase our rates?
No.
What makes insurance companies evil is the calculated effort exerted
to mask their true nature. The insurance industry spends millions
in advertising to keep people from thinking about how they are
being corn-holed.
For example..
Esurance uses the oldest trick in the book...
SEX.
Most women who are reading this are probably saying...
That's silly. She's just a cartoon.
Ladies. You may not know it, but your man gets sexually aroused by
looking at cartoon women.
Don't believe me?
Here is a list of the cartoon females I have masturbated to.
OK. So they're not ALL women.
The point is that sex sells and Esurance is using a sexy cartoon to keep men from thinking about how their entrails are being violated.
Insurance is anything but sexy.
Actually, insurance is the clap.
Have you seen this bitch on television??
Progressive Insurance uses this whimsical, nutty hag to keep you from thinking of all of the insurance CEO's who are ripping you a new twat.
Enough of this bullshit!
I think these commercials should be a little more realistic.
And how could you have missed this one?
I see this piece of shit everywhere I go.
This is another attempt to soften the image of an industry that has raped and pillaged for nearly a century.
A cute, lovable lizard with a British accent.
How could you not trust him?
Of course, it always leads to this...
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Please leave your complaints here.
Name: God
E-mail:
Date posted: November 15, 2009 - 12:19 pm
Message: I would do all of them.
Name: bob
E-mail:
Date posted: November 04, 2009 - 08:36 am
Message: you are so fucking wrong. the geico lizard is from Australia!!!! isn't he?????
Name: einstiengirl
E-mail:
Date posted: October 05, 2009 - 01:37 pm
Message: i have to admit your right(in some way)
Name: fffff
E-mail:
Date posted: October 04, 2009 - 10:24 am
Message: Those cartoon ladies /are/ pretty hot..
this coming from a girl.
Name: Chodelicker
E-mail:
Date posted: October 01, 2009 - 12:51 am
Message: I agree 100% with everything here lmfao
Name: P
E-mail:
Date posted: September 25, 2009 - 09:58 am
Message: YOu forgot to mention the progressive womans name is Flo.
Name: money maker
E-mail:
Date posted: August 30, 2009 - 12:08 am
Message: dude, what about betty boop?
Name: esurance guy
E-mail:
Date posted: August 25, 2009 - 01:37 pm
Message: dude i would bone the esurance girl
Name: Geoff Walker
E-mail:
Date posted: March 13, 2009 - 11:55 am
Message: Did you really jack it to Aunt Jemima?
Me too...
Name: Eric Vink
E-mail:
Date posted: February 26, 2009 - 11:47 am
Message: I want to rape the geico lizard he is so hot!
Name: Jesus Christ
E-mail:
Date posted: January 22, 2009 - 12:16 am
Message: I like the Gieco lizard. Medium rare.
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